We all have expectations, whether they are realistic or not. I am famous for building up these really elaborate, awesome ideas in my head, then something I was definitely not expecting happens. I am not saying that the reality is necessarily better or worse than the expected, just different. Sometimes it is better and others it is worse, much worse. Sometimes I learn lessons, other times I don't. These expectations don't just appear in the triathlon aspect of my life either, they are everywhere. I promise I'm going somewhere with this! Stay with me.
Scenario:
Rumpass in Bumpass Triathlon 2012 just finished. I am thrilled with myself because the outcome of the race was MUCH better than I expected!
Expectation: don't get hurt, stop if need be, don't be disappointed with a personally poor time, walk the water stations, tackle the run as 20 min on/2 min walk.
Reality: finished the race strong, had a relatively decent time, tackled the run as 10 min on/2 min walk and still managed a run time sub 50 minutes! I finished the race with a stupid smile on my face and Erin is right there at the finish. I look great, I feel great, I am high on life (well maybe endorphins). Actually, the "look great" is probably debatable too...
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| Rockin' the post race baggy shirt and lake/sweat hair. |
Fast forward to that evening and we are back on campus eating dinner. My stomach is a little bit off, but that is totally expected after a race and I don't even think twice about it. One of my best friends is in town visiting and I am so excited to go out that night and celebrate my age group win!!!! Erin, Meghan, and Maura-- you know where this one is going! HA.
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| Ready for a night out.... so we thought... |
Expectation: Great night with great friends. Party all night. Dance. Celebrate a fantastic race!!
Reality: After we all get ready to go out, my tummy still doesn't feel good. I tell my friends that I am just going to go back to my dorm and sleept. I am nauseated at the thought of a sip of water or even eating just one Cheerio. Erin insists on driving me home and spending the night with me to make sure I am okay. By the time I get home and in bed its about midnight. Other friends are calling me to meet up, but all I want to do is sleep and make my stomach stop hurting. I call my mom and she thinks I need to go to the the hospital since I can't eat or drink and that I am probably severely dehydrated. I finally give in once 1:30ish rolls around and go to the hospital. Erin is the best and drives me there and sits with me while I am getting fluids and drugs pumped in via IV. Turns out I WAS severely dehydrated and had a mild case of rhabdo. Scary.
Lesson learned: DRINK WATER! You better believe I will never be dehydrated again.
As you can see, the realities of this day are completely different from my expectations. My triathlon reality was better than expected, while my "college girl" reality was much worse than expected.
So, where am I going with this? Well as it gets closer and closer to Nationals (and the start of a new year/new semester), I find myself thinking about the summer: what I could have done differently in training, in racing, in work experience, in my social life. I am getting more and more nervous about competing at Nationals. I know I can only really focus on one thing at a time. So Nationals it is until August 18 at approximately noon, then I go into full "figure out college" mode. I don't want to disappoint myself, my family, my friends, my training buddies, Connie, the list goes on at Nationals. I have some very big and important opportunities resting on my performance at Nationals.
This summer of training has been FAR from what I expected. I expected not to have any injuries, I expected to run without pain, I expected to not get first in my age group in the races I did this summer, I expected my swim times to stay the same as they have for the past year. My expectations were very different from reality.
I hurt my hip during one of my first hill (run) workouts of the summer. I have no idea what happened but I felt a twinge, ran through it, came home and stretched, and the next day my hip was killing me. I had to take a few days off of running and suffered a little bit of pain for a few weeks, but now it is all better. Praise the Lord.
I hurt my IT Band after a race in the beginning of July and had to take the rest of the week off from running and biking! TERRIBLE. I was so upset that I had hurt myself, for what, one small race. I ruined Nationals. I ruined my training. But guess what, it was all better the following week!
I have gotten first in my age group in every single race this summer, except for Jamestown when I got 3rd overall, even better. This was not something I was expecting. People at my mom's work told to her to prepare me because I was "moving up an age group and things were going to be a lot more competitive and much harder to win." Guess what, I didn't let it get to me and have done great!
Now swimming, this has been the biggest shocker of all. I had actually been talking to some friends about my swim toward the end of the semester... I didn't see the point of training because I felt like I was just at a plateau and I was the fastest I would be. I hadn't seen any significant gains, so shouldn't I just focus on my bike and getting my run time down. Everyone knows the bike is probably the most critical part of the race anyway, it is the leg you spend the most time on. You can definitely win or lose a race on the bike, you can only really lose a race on the swim. I know I am a solid front of pack swimmer. However, I was very wrong. This summer I have dropped my swim down by about FIVE seconds per 100! I am swimming just about as fast as I was in high school if not faster!
However, my run still isn't where I expected it to be. I expected myself to be running just as fast as I was last summer. I expected myself to be throwing down 2:45-2:50 800s for my first track workout. That did not happen, I was more in the 3:00-3:08 range. I was disappointed, angry with myself. Why had I not just taken care of myself? Why did I even run? Its a stupid sport that just makes you hurt everywhere anyway. And don't they say its bad for your joints anyway? But I had to keep telling myself that my legs would/will come back. Running is where I started as a triathlete! I have been a runner since I was 13!!!! I love running, and I knew I couldn't let some times bring me down. It was my first track workout in over 6 months anyway! Low and behold, I have gotten faster, last week I put down a 2:56 800. It isn't perfect, but it is something to be proud of. I have worked hard this summer to get my running legs to come back.
Back to Nationals... My dad has always enforced the rule "Hope for the best, prepare (or expect) for the worst." I think I am going to change that quote around in preparation for Nationals. I want to expect the best. If I expect the best, I may be setting myself up for failure. But I have seen incredible gains this summer, and am really thinking I will surprise myself. I have to keep a positive attitude. A positive mindset. With that said, regardless of the outcome, I am competing with some of the Nation's fastest Age Group Triathletes. That is something else to be proud of.
I am going to expect the best.
"But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure." Psalm 8:25
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