Focusing on the Bad

I am good at a lot of things. I'm pretty good at math, taking care of kids, baking, making milkshakes, scrambling eggs, brewing strong coffee, coloring inside the lines, and online shopping.

Honestly, I could come up with a list in my head of all the things that I *think* I am good at. But there are SO many things I am bad at, really bad at. Most of the time, I try to ignore these things because let's be honest, it doesn't make you feel great when you admit to yourself that you can't do something or you don't do it well. Despite these negative feelings, it is quite necessary to face them in order to grow. Now that I really can't run (okay fine it has only been a week and I will probably be running in another 2...), this has been a great time to focus on the things I am not so great at.

 In no particular order:

1. My pull is WEAK SAUCE in the pool. Like seriously. I have always been a kick dominant swimmer. After my freshman year in high school, my coach came up to my mom and says, "It's a good think Courtney has a great kick, otherwise she would go nowhere in the water." That is why she suggested I try rowing, so I could build up some of that arm and back strength. Wouldn't you know that after my first season of rowing, I made State is swimming the following season. Since it is the off season, I have been doing some strength exercises to help build up some of that muscle. But even more importantly, I have needed to fix my stroke in the pool, especially the "catch" and "finish". My elbow tends to drop before I pull and I take my arm out of the water super early, thus a very short stroke. Since I am trying not to irritate my hip flexor, I have been sticking straight to pulling with and without paddles and maintaining high elbows and finishing strong. I hope that if I do it enough, it will transfer back over to my swim when I start putting in hard efforts in the water come January/February.

2. I am not a good bike mechanic. At all. I know that and do my best to avoid anything that may require me to tinker with my bike. I am so afraid I am going to break it or do something wrong and then die.. okay that was a little dramatic. Now that I have these new wheels and plan to use them for races, I have to learn how to do simple things like replacing brake pads and switching the cassette between wheels. Very basic, I know. I have been shown how to do it multiple times, so I attempted last night. Things started a little shaky: I got the screw off of the left shoe easily, then I tried to pull the cartridge out. Could not figure out why on earth it wasn't budging. Turns out, I had switched positions and I was trying to force the right one out with the screw still on. *BOP should've had a V8.* After that mishap, everything was going well until I tried to remove the cassette... then this happened.... tragic.

BLOOD!

After the small injury, everything went smoothly. Until I tried to work on the rear brakes. I literally had every.size. Allen wrench, EXCEPT for the one I needed. I needed the teeniest, tiniest one they make. So now, my bike is laying on my garage floor, since ya know, I don't have a bike stand. But don't worry, I have it on an old comforter component side up. I think we will be okay. This morning I went to work and I FOUND A WHOLE ALLEN WRENCH SET WITH THE SIZE I NEED. So it is on my desk to take home. Score. This grease monkey (as my Dad calls me) will be back in Courtney's Garage Bike shop tonight. I think I will have the confidence with a little more practice!

3. Strengthening and stretching. I hate it. Usually when I get back from a workout, I am pretty strapped for time and need to get going, so I rarely take the time to get a good stretch in or do a core workout. Since I have been dealing with this hip thing, I realize that it is really important to take that time. I got this strain from my lacking glute and hamstring strength in addition to my tight hip flexors. All I need is 5 minutes for a quick stretch when I am strapped for time. As for core, I have a new goal, wake up 15-20 minutes earlier and do a small core workout: bridge, planks, pushups, whatever.

4. Buying good, creative [Christmas] presents. I think I overcame that issue yesterday though. I came up with some darn good ideas and ordered them! Thank goodness they will be here the 24th! Procrastination at its finest.

5. Reading the Bible. I really don't do this enough or as often as I should. I am working on it though. No worries.

And that is my "Top Five Things I Am Bad At" list.  Hopefully I can continue to improve and embrace my challenges to become the best athlete and Christian possible.

Plus this hilarious picture I saw on Twitter last night...

And this one which is a little more serious and less hilarious:

Matthew 24:35-45

Coming up on 50...

Hi friends! How goes it? I am just sittin' here at work without much to do. I can't complain though, a job is a job these days. I promise I am not slackin' though, there are no projects for me to do! It is so great seeing everyone I worked with this summer. This is post 49 of my blog, 50 will be here before I know it!


First things first, my new wheels. OMGosh. I rode on Sunday. The weather was beautiful, chilly, but beautiful with very little wind. It was a perfect day to test out my new wheels. Before Sunday, I don't remember the last time I rode Tyrone. I know I did a few times on the trainer before I got sick, but other than that, nada. I was definitely a little shaky on the bike and throw a new set of wheels on, phew I was having a little bit of trouble. I am very comfortable on the road bike (Jamie), not so much on Tyrone right now (though I have a feeling that comfort will come back quickly)! Regardless of the nerves, I had a really great time and was happy to enjoy the weather outside!

On the the hip...
I think my hip is getting better! I ended up taking yesterday off so I could visit my cousins up in DC.

[They added a new one to the family the Monday of Thanksgiving week. Of course we had planned on visiting later that week, but since someone got mono, we decided it would be best if we waited until the sickness in the family was gone. So, I got to see my month old baby cousin, who is absolutely adorable.When I was talking to my parents on the way home, we thought it was funny that we completely forget about all of our other stressors and were just focused on the kids. It is stressful with all the commotion, but totally stress relieving from everything else we have to do].

Anyway, with the day off from any real hip flexor activity, I think it really started to improve. I could shift my weight on my right leg without much pain, it is such a relief. I was debating starting to use  crutches because my limp is/was pretty bad, especially in the morning. My Mom (and I) are a little bit afraid that if I keep limping, I will end up with a injury on my left side once my right hip is healed. That would be NO BUENO.

I have already been to the chiropractor twice since I have been home, and I think that is helping, too. Meghan also had this type of injury and recommended heat. I checked up online about it, and heat is said to significantly reduce recovery time. Don't worry though, I checked several different sources. So I am heating once in the morning and once at night. I also throw some ice on after I do any sort of cycling/swimming or rehab exercises.

In addition to the rehab exercises, the chiropractor and rest, the most important part of recovery is The Great Healer Himself. I am one of those who likes to have everything in control and planned out. However, I am slowly but surely learning that this is never going to happen. God is the one in control, not me. If whatever I am planning doesn't fit in with His master plan, it isn't going to fly. I have a few personal experiences that I think God had planted in my life to bring me closer to Him. They always seem to come at the times I am most confident in what I am doing, not what He is doing. I have begun to *almost* solely rely on Him in my recovery. Nothing I do on MY OWN will heal me, it has to be in conjunction with Him and His great plan. So my point, I am praying harder than I have ever prayed before and talking to God more than I ever have. He is bringing me closer, I am following, and I never want to change it. Thank God for mono and thank God for the hip flexor strain. I have never been more happy while sidelined, I just hope I am running again really, really soon! I have Nationals to train for!

I am lucky to be reading Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Having this devotional in my life right now is  a huge blessing. I wanted to post this a few days ago when I read it because it is so relevant right now:
"Trust Me by relinquishing control into My hands, let go and recognize that I am God.  This is My world.  I made it and I control it." And the bible verse that went along with it:
He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

And this is my brother's bearded dragon, Reggie.

 I love him. So good to be home.

And I Ain't Got No Worries

So, that most recent post was out of frustration, anger and stress and the hip crisis is no longer a crisis. My grades will be fine, I just need to do some reviewing. And the mono, I will just continue to take advil for my throat!

The lesson is still there that I am not invincible and that I probably don't give true sleep and rest enough credit.

I just got back from the doctor here at school and it looks like my hip is nothing to be overly concerned about at this point. It appears to be a hip flexor strain and not a torn labrum or stress fracture. Of course we can't say absolutely not to either, but I will be getting some imaging done just to make sure. After a quick session, I already feel so much better and all signs point to hip flexor, caused by not engaging my core enough. So! I will be doing lots of stretching (but not over stretching) and strengthening. Hopefully I won't be out of [running] commission for too long!

And now I am off to study for Macro. I hope I don't fail.
"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8

Too bad race season is still 4 months away...

Oh and here is a picture of my bike. I bought myself a niceeee set of of 2012 Mercury M9s. Merry Christmas to Me!!

Realizations

As this semester concludes, I am beginning to realize more and more that I am the opposite of invincible. I way overloaded myself and am beginning to see this.

1. My grades have been much better in the past. It isn't that they are necessarily bad grades, they just aren't as good. Some of this probably has to do with some combination of taking classes that aren't for my major and new teachers. But I also know that some of this is because I am SO busy. Sometimes I am scrambling last second to finish an assignment. I hate that feeling.

2. Mono got the best of me, not one strand but BOTH viruses that cause mono. Typical Courtney. It is so damn frustrating that I couldn't do anything for 2 weeks. Even more frustrating that today I feel terrible because my prescription for steroids ran out. I am so tired and my head and throat feel like they are 10x their usual size. Of course, this would happen the week finals start.

3. MY HIPS. My gosh darn hips stink so bad. I have no idea what's wrong. I am hoping that this is just a case of illiopsoas tendonitis or something soft tissue like that. I am icing and stretching and bridging and everything I should be doing. I thought it was better but apparently not. I am going to the doctor at home on Friday. I literally cannot walk comfortably and it is so frustrating. Luckily riding my bike doesn't hurt and I am going to swim and pool run in a little bit and see how that feels. I am just praying for good news at the doctor. I just don't know how I am going to handle ANOTHER injury that puts me out for months at a time this YEAR (AKA the femur fracture in January). I can handle a few weeks but not months. Please, not months. I feel like I deserve at least a year or two of pretty much pain free running after being off running from October 2011-March 2012.

And on that note, off to the gym. Prayers are totally appreciated.